A Study Of The Fifth Commandment

By Pastor Bruce K. Oyen

E-mail: bk_oyen@hotmail.com

 

This is a simple study of the fifth commandment.
      All Biblical quotations are from the ESV (English Standard Version), unless otherwise noted.
This command  is found in Exodus 20:12 and in Deuteronomy 5:16.
     In Exodus 20;12 it says: "Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the LORD your God is giving you." In Deut. 5:16 it has a few more words. It says: "Honor your father and your mother, as the LORD your God commanded you, that your days may be long, and that it may go well with you in the land that the LORD your God is giving you." The extra words in Deut. might be based on the fact that Moses was looking back on the original command, which was given to him many years before.
What does it mean to honor one's father and mother?
     The Zondervan KJV Study Bible (that is its exact name, and should not be confused with the other study Bibles with similar names) says this in a note on Ex. 20:12: "(1) Prize highly (see Prov. 4:8), (2) care for (see Ps. 91:15), (3) show respect for (see Lev. 19:13; 20;9), and (4) obey (see Deut. 21:18 - 21; cf. Eph. 6:1)."       The NKJV Study Bible (New King James Version Study Bible), second edition, published by Thomas Nelson, has this helpful note on Ex. 20:12: "The term 'honor' means 'to treat with significance.' It is the opposite of 'in vain' (v. 7). Care of one's elderly parents was a basic element of social responsibility and godly piety in Israel. Here it is tied directly to how a person would fare in the land. People who were faithless to God in disregarding their parents would not last long in the new Promised Land." 
Other means of honoring one's parents.  
     Let us now consider some other means of honoring one's parents, taking into consideration that some children might have parents who are not truly honorable persons because they are not of good character. Some are lazy. Some are drunks and drug addicts. Some are in jails and prisons for crimes of one kind and another. Some parents are adulterers and philanderers. Some choose to be jobless and choose to live on the streets, rather be responsible parents and citizens. Some are child molesters, or murderers, or thieves, and some have other dishonorable characteristics. Therefore, we can see that children of such parents have a difficult challenge when it comes to following the fifth commandment. Maybe such parents can be honored only by acknowledging what little good might be detectable in their lives at the present time, or by remembering their better days of the past, if there were any, and by not doing them any harm.
      Fortunately, most parents are better than the ones described above. Therefore, it is easier to honor them. But how can it be done? By speaking respectfully to them and about them. By expressing appreciation to them for how they have been a blessing to us. By telling them we love them. By remembering them on their birthdays, their anniversaries, on holidays, and on other occasions that we know are special to them. We can honor them by helping them financially, even if they do not need help. This can be done by occasionally paying their utility bills or their vacation expenses. We can take them out to a favorite restaurant. Furthermore, we can honor them by being considerate of them in their old age, at which time some parents have health problems or financial problems.
New Testament statements about this subject. 

       Matthew 15:1 - 9 tells us of a confrontation that the Lord Jesus Christ had with the Pharisees and scribes. They were the religious leaders of his day, but were not always good men. They often were more concerned about keeping external religious traditions than about true godliness. Verses 1 - 9 say: "Then the Pharisees and scribes came to Jesus from Jerusalem and said, 'Why do your disciples break the tradition of the elders? For they do not wash their hands when they eat.' He answered them, 'And why do you break the commandment of God for the sake of your tradition? For God commanded, 'Honor your father and your mother,' and 'whoever reviles father or mother must surely die.' But you say, ' If anyone tells his father or his mother, 'What you would have gained from me is given to God,' he need not honor his father.' So for the sake of your tradition you have made void the word of God. You hypocrites! Well did Isaiah prophesy of you, when he said: 'This people honors me with their lips, but their heart is far from me; in vain do they worship me, teaching as doctrines the commandments of men.'" From these verses we see that the Lord emphasized the importance of honoring one's parents, in contrast to the scribes and Pharisees.

      Luke 2:41 - 52 tells us about Jesus when he was 12 years old.. At that time, he was in Jerusalem with his parents(Joseph was not his literal father, but his legal father, for Jesus had no literal, earthly father. His conception was strictly miraculous, with no man involved in it.) He went to the temple and got involved in questions and answers with the religious teachers.  His parents, thinking he was lost, set out to find him. When they did, they expressed their concern to him and spoke to him about returning home with them. Luke 2:51 says: "And he went down with them and came to Nazareth and was submissive to them." By doing this, the Lord honored his parents and set a good example for all children to follow.

      John 8:49 tells us that Jesus said this to his enemies about his relationship to God the Father: "I honor my Father, and you dishonor me." So, then we learn form the New Testament that the Lord honored his earthly parents, and also God the Father. The Lord honored God the Father in every way. He spoke respectfully to him and about him. He lived his life in total submission to his will, no matter how difficult the circumstances might be, even dying on the cross on our behalf. When he prayed in agony about his forthcoming crucifixion, he prayed that the Father's will would be done. Here, too, he set a good example for us to follow.

      Ephesians 6:1 - 3 is divinely-given instruction to children. In these verses the apostle Paul quoted from the fifth command. He wrote: "Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 'Honor your father and your mother,' (this is the first commandment with a promise), 'that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.' "
Some Old Testament commands are always to be followed.

      One point we can learn from this is that, though many Old Testament commands have no application to the Christian life, some of them, such as this one, transcend all cultures and and all times and all distinctions in God's relationship with the human race, and are, therefore, always in effect. I would not be surprised to learn that the principle of honoring one's parents is found even in those cultures that have had no exposure to the Christian faith. But God put this principle in his inspired Word for all to read and live by, thereby insuring that it is understood to be a God-given duty.
Parents should be honored and obeyed.

      Not only does Ephesians 6 quote the fifth command, which says children should honor their parents. It also says children should obey them. In fact, the command to obey precedes Paul's quote of the fifth command. This leads me to conclude that a primary means by which children can honor their parents is by obeying them. This obligation to obey them has primary, if not exclusive, application to children who are not independent adults, and who, therefore, are still under parental authority. Children still under parental authority can honor their parents by obeying their commands about practical matters such as doing assigned chores. But also, and more importantly, by obeying their commands and instructions about moral and spiritual matters, provided, of course, those commands and instructions do not violate the clear teachings of the Bible.
      The Bible, being God's Word, has authority over all other authorities, including parental authority. So, if, for example, a parent commands a child to lie about something, the child should obey God's command to not lie. Thank God for all parents whose instructions and commands instill in their children respect for and obedience to the Word of God. Pity any children whose parents would teach them to live contrary to the Bible. How difficult it must be for those children who want to do what is right, but who must resist the bad influence of their parents, and perhaps suffer for doing so.
The primary concern of the Book of Proverbs. 

     The Book of Proverbs gives considerable emphasis on the importance of children paying attention to the moral and spiritual instructions of their parents. An example of this is found in Proverbs 1:8 and 9, which says: "Hear, my son, your father's instruction and forsake not your mother's teaching, for they are a graceful garland for your head and pendants  for your neck."

     Though children need instruction about many subjects, we are sure that the instruction to which the Book of Proverbs refers is about moral and spiritual matters. It is more important for children to learn how to live for God than how to make their beds, change a flat tire, wash the dishes, or mow the lawn. Proverbs 1:1 - 7 tells us that the purpose of the Proverbs is to instruct readers in these more important matters.  More proof of this purpose of the Book of proverbs is found in the many statements in which the author, himself a father, appeals to his son with the words "My son," and then he gives moral and spiritual instruction to him. Here are some verses in which this is done: Proverbs 1:8, 10, 15; 2:1; 3:1,11,21; 4:10, 20; 5:1, 20; 6:1, 3, 20; 7:1; 19:27 (This verse ought to be read in the KJV and a modern English translation such as the New King James Version or the ESV, for the difference is striking.); 23:15, 19, 26; 24:13, 21; 27:11; 31:2.